So I went to the doctor last week and just found out the results today. Everything pretty much is normal.... the doctor has no idea. I´ve still been having pain when I laugh in my side in the usual place.... he´s going through everything he can think of, he says that it could be some mis-junction in my ribs with the cartilige and be completely unrelated to everything else. Yeah it´s pretty frustrating... I was hoping they´d find something just so there was a way to move forward! But alas, no.... It´s been crazy. But I´m really hopefully that just being in the States and having a bit more normal schedule long term will help my body to calm down... little nervous for the flight, but I know everything will be ok. This time I´m flying with four or five other elders going to the Fresno mission. At least I won´t be alone and they´ll be able to help me if need be. I don´t know them at all though, they were all Beginners and my district was Intermediate. Pero está bien.
I knew that one of the hardest things I´d go through in this mission is saying good bye. And like the thing is is that my district is all each other´s first converts. That´s one of the biggest things they stress here is that you have to be your own first convert and that everything you want your investigator to do, like read, have meaningful prayers, feel the Holy Ghost, etc is what Heavenly Father wants for you. And we have all more thoroughly converted each other. It´s tough, but I know that I will stay in contact with a lot of them.
I´ve just really gained a testimony of loving the people you serve and the people you serve with. I´ve learned that I tend to be pretty judgmental at people´s face value and since I got stuck with people and had no choice but to get to know them, I´ve made the best friends ever. Some of my most favorite people in my district are the people I really disliked the first week. So I´ve just really tried to gain a testimony of loving everyone on the benefit of the doubt until you can learn their story and love them for real. I´ve learned so much here... like two or three weeks ago I told Hermana Hurley that if I had to go home right then, I´d be ok because everything I´ve learned here has changed who I am or at least who I realized I want to become. I´m so grateful I get another 16.5 months to really solidify the lessons I´ve already learned and to learn new ones though! It´s been a crazy crash course.
I´m so excited to get into the field I just opened an email from the APs in Fresno... they said day one
we´re just going straight into the field with a temporary experienced companion and going for it. So excited! During this hard time I´ve never felt more peaceful. I´m so excited to go and do the Lord´s work, it´s just hard to leave this family behind. But in a blessing last week while I was sick, Elder Lund (who gave the blessing) promised me that my future companions would be like family to me also and I would have that bond. I just keep trying to focus on the fact that alll the love I feel right now will soon be felt again as I get to know my new companions and members.
Just to close, I want to testify to you of the power of prayer, and also of the right to God´s power we hold. Every time before we go teach, I pray for us, and I always specifically ask God for His power. The first few times I felt a literal light drop into my chest. Everything we have in this gospel is because someone specifically asked for it, be it the true church, the power of the priesthood, the keys to baptism... all of it is because someone asked. Ask God for exactly what you want and it will be given to you. Ask for His power in your life. It is so amazing. I know this Church is true and I know that trials are a blessing. I thank God for my trials sincerely every night. I couldn´t be happier to serve a mission and to love the angels that God has put in my life. I love you all so much and I pray for you.
All my love,
Hermana Z
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